Mistletoe?
by MyFearOfFalling
Summary: CRACK.        Alfred finds an old mistletoe decoration, and decides to torture Kiku and Arthur with it.  OHFUN.  Sorry if some of it makes no sense.  It's like, 2:30 am.     Rated T because T rating's for the cool kids  8D  ...That, and the ending.  DERP.


"Ki-Ki-Kiku! It's okay! Leave it alone. I can do it on my own."

England pushed backwards through the door, holding a tray, which contained the tea they had been preparing.

"EW. TEA. GROSS. WHY DO YOU OLD PEOPLE LOVE THAT CRAP SO MUCH?" a certain American shouted from across the room, nearly causing England to trip and dump the tray's contents onto the idiotic blonde. Not that he'd be sorry...

"Shut- shut up! What's wrong with it? It's not loaded up with all that sugar and stuff like in your sod-"

"THAT'S WHY."

"WELL THEN."

"A-Arthur-san. Calm down," Japan blinked up at him. He grabbed onto England's arm, attempting to lower it from the fist he had raised, ready to hit America, should he make another insult.

"Pfffft. You two. Really. You should just- HEY. WAIT HERE A SECOND."

"ALFRED! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Alfred was last seen before disappearing into the basement, where the occasional thump and crash could be heard, leaving Arthur to worry just what the hell Alfred was doing to his house.

Arthur sighed and sat down on the couch, motioning for Kiku to join him. Silently, he complied, jumping every few minutes when a scream could be heard because Alfred couldn't 'FIND THE GODDAMN CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS IN THIS HAUNTED HELL-HOLE.'

After finishing the tea, a dust-covered Alfred emerged from the basement with a triumphant smile plastered on his face. The island nations chose to ignore it, and continued cleaning up the cups and other items, beginning to take it back to the kitchen.

"Artie! Ku*! Get out here!"

Kiku winced at the nickname, wishing Alfred would forget when he wanted to come up with a nickname for him, though his name was already short enough.

The idiot stood on the bottom stair of the staircase leading up. They neared him cautiously, scared to discover the unknown horrors of what Alfred was so happy about.

As he revealed what he was so excited about, Japan cocked his head to the side, confused about what he was holding, while the Englishman let out a yelp of surprise.

"Arthur-san? What is that?" he said as he stared questioningly at the small plant with rounded green leaves and pale yellow berries.

"That's...It's noth-"

"MIIISTLETOEEEEEEEE!"

"ALFRED, PUT IT AWAY. I REFUSE. ESPECIALLY WITH YOU HERE."

"Refuse...what, exactly?" Kiku asked as he continued to examine the plant in question.

"Nothing, Kiku. Ignore hi-"

"MIIISTLETOEEEEEEEE!" Alfred shouted for the second time. HELPFUL.

"Mi-stle-toe?"

"YEAH! IT'S WHERE YOU GOTTA-" Alfred was suddenly cut off by Arthur jumping up and knocking him into the wall. "Hey! Ooow! That hurt! Grumpy old geezer."

"Don't."

"Why?"

"Just don't."

Alfred sighed and retracted his arm. "Fiiine. Okaaa- HEY KIKU, DO IT!" And with that, he thrust his arm back out, dangling the small mistletoe plant above the two older men's heads.

"...What?"

"Nice try. He doesn't get it. IT'S NOT WORKING. Now just put it away!"

"Arthur-san? What's so bad about that little plant?"

"Never mind tha-"

Alfred breaks in, "Well, Kiku."

"Don't say it."

"This little plant-"

"Alfred. Stop."

"-if two people stand under it-"

"ALFRED."

"-they have to kiss!"

Arthur slams his face into the wall. "No. I won't. Not here."

"Not here? Does that mean if we go...say, into the kitchen, you will?"

"...Shut up. You know what I mean, you Nancy."

"...Oooh."

"...What?"

"I get it~"

"Get what? What's with that look?"

"You know~"

"...No, I don't."

He steps off the step and goes over to Kiku, whispering something into his ear. Alfred backs away with a smirk on his face as Kiku goes red.

"A-A-Arthur-san? Is that true?"

"W-what? What did he tell you?"

Kiku opens his mouth, but decides against it, and closes it when Alfred dramatically points at him screaming, "AND YOU DO TOOOOOOO~ NOW DO IT."

Kiku stared at the American, dumbfounded.

"But...why?"

"OBEY THE PLAAANT."

"ALFRED. WHAT LIES ARE YOU FEEDING HIM?"

"...That reminds me...I'm hungry. Have fun~" And with that, America tossed the mistletoe into the air, where it proceeded to hit Kiku in the face, and he headed off to raid Arthur's kitchen.

The island duo stared after him, Japan; confused, and England; pissed.

Arthur stormed into the kitchen, "WHAT THE HELL, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO THROUGH MY HOUSE AND- NO! PUT THAT BACK! I DON'T HAVE MUCH MORE CHEESE."

"OW! Ow! Owowowowowowowowowowowow! Iiiggy! Let go of me!" And Arthur and Alfred reappeared from the kitchen.

"Fine. I won't raid your fridge. But come ooon guys! Just do it! You know you want to!" Alfred said, picking up the piece of mistletoe off the ground, "Do it! Or there will be consequences," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"...What."

"You know~"

"NO, I DON'T KNOW, STOP SAYING THAT."

"Well...Remember that time you two got really drunk? Wait...well, you had like, 3 drinks each. But whatever. OH GOD, YOU TWO WERE SO DRUUUNK. It was hilarious!"

"...Oh. NO!"

"What? You're not talking about...that, are you? Alfred-san, please!"

"Those were some awesome dresses~"

"A-Alfred-san! No!"

"And I have PICTURES~!"

"Please, no!"

"Alfred. Stop that. Put it away."

"Do it!" He raised the plant into the air.

"No. Not here. And NOT with you here."

"So you would when you're alone?"

The Englishman sputtered out a few unintelligible words as he turned a bright red color (A shade that would probably make a certain Spaniard shout something along the lines of 'You look like a tomato!').

"SO I WASN'T LYING! IN YOUR FACE!"

"Ly-lying about WHAT? What did you tell him?"

"The truth you're too afraid to admit~"

"...Which is?"

"YOU LOVE HIM! YOU LOVE HIM! YOU LOOOOOVE HIM~!"

England stared at the idiot, watching him dance and sing, obviously impressed with his little 'song'.

"SHUT-SH-SHUT UP!"

"...was that a confession?"

"N-no. Nothing."

"...Come ooon! Just do it! You know you can't find it in your heart to disobey my plant! And just remember. The dresses and the alcohol and the singing, and I think you know the rest."

"...FINE. Just don't send the pictures."

"Eh? Please don't, Alfred-san!"

"THEN OBEY THE PLANT LIKE ARTHUR."

"...F-f-fi-fi-fine..." The Japanese man turned a bright red color, almost the color Arthur had turned before.

"So...do it!"

"Okay, OKAY."

Alfred continued to wiggle the little green plant above their heads as Arthur began to lean in. As their lips were about to meet, they hit noses.

"Ow!"

"Oh, ow."

"THAT WAS PATHETIC. DO IT AGAIN."

One of them let out a sigh as Arthur began to lean in once again, pressing his lips to Kiku's gently, and quickly pulling away.

Immediately after, Alfred struck his 'hero pose' and started laughing.

"...Whaaaat?"

"THE AMAZING HERO-ME IS AN AWESOME MATCHMAKER. It's uhcause I'm American."

"..."

At that moment, Alfred had pulled his phone out and began to write a message.

"Oh man, I've gotta tell Francis!"

"..."

"YOU'LL DO WHAAAT?"

"And...sent."

Within moments, a half-naked Frenchman was walking in through England's front door.

"Is it true?" 

The island nations realized how close they had just been standing, and quickly stepped back, away from each other, faces beginning to burn with their embarrassment.

France looked at their reddened faces and said, "Ah, so it is true! So, tell me, how was it?"

"SH-SHUT UP. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT NO KNOW."

"But…but…Mon Angleterre! I just want to—"

"I'm NOT 'your England.'"

"But I just want to help!"

"Sure, you might want to, but whatever you want to do will be anything but help. …Wait. What help do I need? There's nothing wrong."

Francis stared at the Brit. "… Au revoir!" And Francis disappeared.

"Aw…BYE FRANCIS," the American screeched before waving rapidly and slamming the front door.

"GO HOME, ALFRED. YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH. Last thing I want is Gilbert or Matthias over here."

"Aw, you're just embarrassed because your little crush got found out~"

"…"

Arthur ran over and quickly shoved Alfred into a closet and locked it, while Kiku just watched.

"IGGY. LEMME OUT! I GOTTA PEE!" he shrieked, pounding on the door.

"Nope."

"A-Arthur-san?"

"Yes, Kiku?"

"…I think you need to take responsibility for earlier …"

"GUYS! I CAN HEAR YOU! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME HERE WHILE YOU GO—"

He shut up as he heard the sound of a door closing upstairs. It was going to be a _long_ night, sitting in that closet.

**Author's Note:**

**YES. I WENT THERE. AND YES, RI AND AVIO, I WENT THERE WITH THE CLOSET JOKE AGAIN. **

**Ku* = It's a nickname that our America decided I needed (I'm supposed to be our Japan). Kiku was already really short, but she decided that it needed to be **_**shorter.**_** AND THUS, 'KU' WAS BORN (sadly).**

**Oh yes, and I used 'Nancy' in there. It's a little something I constantly call our Sealand. We no longer call him by his real name. It's always 'NANCY'. **

…**It's 2:30 am. …FFF- I NEED TO GET THIS IN. I'm at 1,500 words. EXACTLY. **


End file.
